In today’s globalized, social media infused yet socially detached society, one of the arenas where the younger generation is really making an impact is Self Expression; it is what is making our society become more functional. As much as we may not be a fan of the various forms of self-expression, the point is that it is making truth a reality.
For long, whether in the work place or within households, anger has been frowned upon as an ugly emotion. A synonym to disease and villainhood. In reality it is not anger that is to blame there, it is the denial of anger and the violence that is shaped by unaddressed anger that is the cause for detrimental effects such as road rage, addiction, domestic violence, murder and what we have experienced in the past decade as acts of victimization in schools, and other public arenas.
Although an uncomfortable emotions to experience, anger has become a feeling we have all come to experience more often during the past couple years. From anything regarding financial strain, to loss of a motivation for an upcoming generation when it comes to finding career s and lack of support in managing daily activities of life, love to a drastic increase in bullying, depression, and suicides in schools, etc. There are many things in our modern day world that we may feel rightfully angry about. One of the biggest events in our world history still affecting us to this day is the COVID-19 pandemic. We dealt with the sense of urgency to “return to normal”, and came to find the “normal” has impacted us financially in the form of rising living costs, increasing interest rates and changes in the stock market. So what are we to do with this anger? Well, in order to really address that questions, we have to first address the why behind the ways in which we have accumulated the anger.
Anger let us become aware of the many ways our everyday life was impacted; from wearing masks, to not being able to leave our homes, not being able to socialize with those we were able to before, and being banned from attending the public places that were for so long a part of our everyday lives. In other words, the anger brought in to light the various ways that we were not getting our needs met. Of course, our needs are variable from person to person, however, in this example, to make matters simple we will stick to basic general human needs such as the need to be social with other human beings. It was the anger that made us realize that our boundaries were violated when we felt isolated, or that we were powerless in our own lives.
Although we may not like anger, it is just as healthy and necessary of an emotion as any other emotion and without noticing and acknowledging it, we cannot move passed it as much as we are designed to do so. In other words, anger is not the terrible emotion our society has labeled it as. It is meant to be noticed, felt and then resolved through action. It is a state we are meant to go through temporarily, to learn from and then graduate to peace. However, without addressing it properly, it is able to gain momentum, and become volatile, transformative in to other emotions and will not serve the purpose it was meant to serve.
So let’s talk about listening to anger in ourselves and in others. It is with listening to anger that we can cope with it, so here to tell you that as opposed to popular belief, there is no such thing as “managing anger”; only understanding anger. In our Anger Management Workshops, we train our dear patrons that we are able to utilize our anger for learning purposes rather than repressing or fearing it. When we do this, we enter a whole new world of self-love and authenticity of being.
To understand your anger effectively ask yourself these questions periodically:
- What makes me defensive?
- What makes me reactive?
- What are situations that those things I tend to impulsively act which cause me to feel rejected or guilty afterwards?about myself?
Being at peace with all of your emotions is the first step to being Emotionally Intelligent. If there are specific situations that trigger your anger, it may be beneficial to journal your feelings whenever you feel anger arising. This can also help you identify possible patterns in your behavior
Healthy anger mean many things, but ultimately it means not labeling ourselves. Healthy anger means recognizing yourself, understanding the thoughts behind the anger and seeing anger as an internal message; Meeting your anger with compassion, and allowing others to share their healthy anger as well.
For this and other types of Emotional Intelligence tools, you can keep us on your automatic dial:
www.Centerforloveandmarriage.com
info@centerforworklifecounseling.com
321-758-5161
